food intake fail

I have a problem. My problem is my food intake. I eat too much crap and not enough good stuff. My excuse far too often for allowing myself to eat the crap food is “I worked out today, I can have a couple of cookies/some chips/this piece of chocolate/etc.”. I need to get out of this frame of mind and fuel my body with proper nutrition. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat 100% clean 100% of the time (I live with too many cookie monsters lol) but I need to find ways to do better. I need to program my mind into thinking a piece of fruit is a treat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting here eating sh*t all day long, but I know I can do far better than I do now.

Another thing I’ve noticed is I actually eat more since I started running. Some days I’m hungrier than others and that’s fine, but again, I use the “I worked out today so I can have…” excuse and eat more than I should. Fact is, I can’t afford the extra calories. I logged my food intake at breakfast & lunch into myfitnesspal.com today for the first time in months and was shocked to see that I only had 379 calories left for the day. And, that was after I gained 231 calories for today’s run. Guess I’ll be having a bowl of cereal for supper tonight. Ha, half joking there.

I often wonder what happened to the will power I once had. I realize I was far from healthy when I was knee-deep in my eating disorder, but I was able to say no to the “bad stuff” fairly easily. Now, I can’t walk past the bakery section of the grocery store without needing a mop to soak up my drool from the floor. I wish I could find a happy medium. I don’t want to be sick again but I want to be able to control my food intake a little better. Perhaps now that I see how crazy my food intake is in black and white, I may be able to take better control of the situation. Oy. Food sucks. The scale sucks. The measuring tape sucks.

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Posted on October 24, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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