food intake fail

I have a problem. My problem is my food intake. I eat too much crap and not enough good stuff. My excuse far too often for allowing myself to eat the crap food is “I worked out today, I can have a couple of cookies/some chips/this piece of chocolate/etc.”. I need to get out of this frame of mind and fuel my body with proper nutrition. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat 100% clean 100% of the time (I live with too many cookie monsters lol) but I need to find ways to do better. I need to program my mind into thinking a piece of fruit is a treat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting here eating sh*t all day long, but I know I can do far better than I do now.

Another thing I’ve noticed is I actually eat more since I started running. Some days I’m hungrier than others and that’s fine, but again, I use the “I worked out today so I can have…” excuse and eat more than I should. Fact is, I can’t afford the extra calories. I logged my food intake at breakfast & lunch into today for the first time in months and was shocked to see that I only had 379 calories left for the day. And, that was after I gained 231 calories for today’s run. Guess I’ll be having a bowl of cereal for supper tonight. Ha, half joking there.

I often wonder what happened to the will power I once had. I realize I was far from healthy when I was knee-deep in my eating disorder, but I was able to say no to the “bad stuff” fairly easily. Now, I can’t walk past the bakery section of the grocery store without needing a mop to soak up my drool from the floor. I wish I could find a happy medium. I don’t want to be sick again but I want to be able to control my food intake a little better. Perhaps now that I see how crazy my food intake is in black and white, I may be able to take better control of the situation. Oy. Food sucks. The scale sucks. The measuring tape sucks.


Posted on October 24, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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