Fork in the Road
Tuesday was Plyometrics day and I had a great workout. Sweat was literally dripping from me during my workout and I needed to let my mat air dry afterwards. Yeah, I was that sweaty! Clear indication of what an awesome workout Plyo is! As I was following the cool down, I bent over with Tony and his minions and immediately felt a strange twinge in my lower back on the left side. “Hmm, that’s weird!”, I thought to myself, but I continued with the cool down as it was almost finished. It wasn’t a stabbing pain or anything and I didn’t feel it anymore when I was standing up so I disregarded it and hit the showers. When I sat on the couch in my usual pretzel-like fashion, I immediately felt that twinge again, only worse and it took my breath away. Ugh. I’m guessing I must have twisted my back the wrong way or something and that’s what caused the strain. I ended up taking two days off and my back is doing much better. I can twist into all kinds of directions without any pain so I’m hoping whatever it is I did is OK now so that I can get back to working out.
During the last two off days, I couldn’t help but venture in my mind and wonder whether I’m doing the right thing with my current workout schedule. I’ve wanted to do P90X for a long time, and, like the C25K program, I’ve taken far too long to just do it. I want to continue with P90X because, more than anything, I think I would feel like a failure if I didn’t finish the program after starting it. However, I miss my running and want to build a better base and up my mileage. I don’t think it’s possible to do both without killing myself. ha!
I think the main reason I’ve been pondering things lately is because we’re now in a position financially to start trying for a third child. Selfishly, I don’t want to give up working out in an aggressive manor because I’m far from where I want to be. The flip side of that is I’m going to “lose” my body again anyhow so why not quit while I’m ahead, so to speak. The thing is, I’d rather have a good fitness base and be in good shape when I get pregnant so that I can hopefully continue to workout throughout my pregnancy. Also, that way, it should be easier to bounce back after I give birth. I guess I feel like, in getting pregnant sooner rather than later, I’ll be throwing all of my hard work away and doing myself a disservice in not being more fit. Or, if I don’t have a good mileage base before I get pregnant, I won’t be able to keep up running like I would like to during pregnancy. Perhaps my expectations are too high as far as how much working out I’ll actually be able to accomplish when I’m pregnant. This will be my first pregnancy during which I do my best to stay fit and be active so it’s all new to me. I also realize that no two people are alike. Some are able to run/stay active until the day they deliver while others have to back off after a few months because it’s uncomfortable. Far too many unknowns to make a proper decision and I believe that’s why I’m so stuck.
Another thing that I needed to remind myself of is there will always be half marathons (the next big goal I want to tackle) but my husband is up there in age (we have a considerable age gap) and who knows how long he’ll be able to father children. The clock is ticking and here I am still stuck in a selfish I-need-to-workout-more mode. Something is wrong with me. I wish someone could tell me what to do but I know this is something I need to decide for myself. Why can’t everything be easy?