Monthly Archives: May 2012

I’m alive

The last 3+ weeks have been filled with snot, coughs, headaches, missed school, pajama days, and far too many missed workouts/runs. My oldest started with the Nasty Cold From Hell, then my younger son got it, then I got it, then Daddy got it. I spent two weeks hacking up a lung and several days without a voice. I felt better after about a week and a half but I never got rid of that annoying tickle in my throat that caused random coughing fits throughout the day. The boys seemed to have gotten over it and my husband was on the mend as well. Then my youngest woke up Friday night having a coughing fit. I guess those clear boogers on Thursday and Friday weren’t caused by teething. :/ Saturday, I woke up with a cough and really stuffy nose and my oldest woke up with a new case of the snots, too. Great. Round Two! I’m not sure if the virus we had mutated into The Cold From Hell’s spawn or if we contracted something else while the youngest and I were at the hospital on Thursday. Either way, I very rarely get sick and to still be sick over three weeks later is killing me.

I did manage ONE run last Friday, which, as it turned out, was the day between sicknesses. I didn’t push myself too hard because I didn’t want to aggravate my recovering lungs. My pace was super slow but it felt great to get out there. Now, I’m sitting here hacking up a lung as I write this, which should be another race report. I’ve had to be a no-show for TWO races because of this insane bout of sickness. The Bear Lake Trail Challenge last weekend and the Gate to Gate this morning.

I’m more than ready for a healthy household again. I’m even more ready to be able to run and workout when I want to. The boys and I have a road trip planned in a couple of weeks so I’m sure we’ll get healthy in time to contract something while we’re on the road. It seems many people are sick right now and we all know how clean public restrooms can be… oy!

At times, I wish I could stomp on Jiminy Cricket

This post should be a race report. Key words there: should be.

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband currently works nights and has for several months now. To avoid royally screwing up his body, he keeps his sleeping schedule the same throughout the weekend (ie: on his days off). When I have a race, he is forced to go on little or no sleep at all. Because our boys are too young to watch themselves, he has to either accompany me to watch the boys while I run or stay home to watch the boys while I run. He has always chosen to accompany me because he enjoys being there to cheer me on and to take pictures of/for me.

*side note: I realize I could race with the boys in the BOB but,while most do, not every race allows joggers. Also, I’m very competitive and, selfishly, I’d rather race solo because I’m too slow w/ both boys in the BOB. One day I may be fast enough with the jogger but that’s definitely not now.*

I’m not going to lie, I had been battling with myself over this race for several days leading up to it. Not because I did not think I could do it but because it would have meant sacrifices would have to be made. This would have been my first 10K race but, I’ve covered that distance many times in the last few months during my half marathon training so, I wasn’t worried I wouldn’t be able to finish the race. I was stewing over things because going would have meant getting up at an ungodly hour. It would have meant screwing up my sons’ sleeping and they have more than enough trouble in that department on their own. It would have meant making my husband go with very little or no sleep. And, it would have meant the third weekend in a row of doing all of the above. Well, most of the above.

During supper on Friday night, I told my husband I was having second thoughts about going to the race. He understood my conflicted position and made a comment that he would not be terribly upset if I ultimately decided to skip it, even though I had already paid for my registration. He also made a comment about the subsequent racing really screwing with him (his sleep) and that made me feel extremely guilty. Still, I couldn’t seem to come to a decision.

After the kids were tucked in bed, I was still trying to make a decision as the minutes ticked by. I remembered something someone told me on DM in the past about never regretting a race/run but always regretting not doing it. That was it! I finally knew I couldn’t skip it because I knew I would regret it if I did. I told my husband I planned on going and got to work at getting everything ready and organized. It’s much easier to get everyone out of the door on time when everything is packed up the night before. You’re also guaranteed not to forget key items if they’re packed up the night before, as long as you don’t forget about packing them. 😉

After I watched a couple of shows that were recorded earlier in the week on our DVR, I hit the hay hoping to get as much sleep as I could. I’m not sure what time it was, but I awoke to my youngest screaming. My husband got him, brought him into the tv room, and the screaming continued. And continued. And it continued. After a couple of minutes, I got up to see what was going on. He’d been having bouts of being inconsolable lately in the middle of the night and I figured I might be able to help stop the screaming. Not only was my sleep being disturbed but I could imagine my poor three-year-old putting his head under his pillow as his younger brother continued with his screaming fit. They share a room so, when it starts, there’s no escape. I got to the tv room and found my poor husband trying to hold onto a flailing toddler with one arm while attempting to block his bad ear with the other. I debated for a second whether it would piss my husband off if I took the baby and brought him to bed with me. I figured such an action may make him feel like I didn’t think he could handle it on his own. I quickly shot that idea out of mind because I knew getting him to stop screaming was the priority and it didn’t really matter how we got it to happen. He screamed the entire walk to the bedroom but, as soon as I put him down on my bed, he shut up. *raises eyebrow* Really? In my half asleep state, I quickly got him positioned, covered him up, and settled myself in for a little more shut-eye.

An hour or two later, my husband came into the bedroom ready to hit the hay as well. He attempted to move the baby back to his own bed but he wanted nothing of it. I swear, we’re creating and enabling a monster. Anyhow, so the three of us snuggled in and went to sleep. I had two alarms set. One for 4:00am and the other for 5 minutes later just in case. I woke up on my own and was surprised it was so close to wake-up time. The clock read 3:47. I looked over at the bed hog baby who was nestled between me and my husband in a star fish position and I decided I would attempt to move him into his own bed so that I wouldn’t wake him while I got ready. After I tucked him into his own bed, I just stood in the darkness of the hallway for a minute with a million thoughts going through my head. I came up with excuse after excuse, all of which were lies, that would be acceptable to others for potentially skipping the race. Kids were sick. I was sick. Rough night with the kids. You get the picture. I stood there, fighting back and forth with myself for what seemed like forever before I finally made my way back to bed. I just sat there, still debating, wondering what I was going to do. I looked over at my sleeping husband and I really didn’t want to disturb his sleep. My guilt meter was on overload. A part of me wanted to get things moving and get to the race. However, a bigger part of me wanted to relish in the peacefulness and get a little extra shut-eye with my husband by my side; something that doesn’t happen often with his current work schedule. That bigger part of me wanted to give my husband and my kids a break from the racing scene and let them get the sleep they  no doubt needed. That bigger part of me also couldn’t see past the guilt of wanting to selfishly say “screw ’em, they can nap later”. I was going to be the cause, yet again, of a sleepless night day for my husband and disturbed sleep for my kids. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t put them through it for the third weekend in a row. Those of you that are mothers may understand the mommy guilt part of the equation here. Once that gets a hold of you, you’re screwed.

No amount of potential regret mattered anymore. I disabled the alarms, got online to send Steve (he was going to carpool to the race start) a quick note telling him I wasn’t going, and crawled back into bed. I woke my husband to tell him we were staying home. I’m sure he was relieved to hear it through the fogginess of sleep. I also figured if he wanted to get up for a couple of hours and sleep longer throughout the day, he could take advantage of the opportunity, but he went back to sleep. It took a little longer than I would have liked for me to find sleep again as thoughts and feelings of guilt & regret swirled throughout my entire being. I’m not sure how long it took but sleep finally engulfed me and I was off to Dreamland until my alarm clock one of the kids got up for the day.

To be honest, once a few hours had passed, I still felt a bit of regret for having missed the race. However, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. The negative feelings were gone in no time and that right there tells me that I made the right decision. It wasn’t like when I missed the St Paddy’s Day 5K. I was truly heartbroken and angry that I missed that one. Of course, the circumstances surrounding the reasons why I missed both races are very different. I guess I figured missing a race is missing a race and one would feel the same thing in the aftermath no matter what. Clearly, that’s not the case.

So that’s what happened. After being super busy for the last few weeks, it was nice to have a low-key/closer to normal weekend as a family. 🙂

So Far, So Good

We’re four days into May and I’ve managed to keep up with all three May challenge calendars. *pats self on back* Seems like such a mediocre accomplishment but it’s an accomplishment for me nonetheless. Hopefully I can keep things up during the remainder of the month.

For those of you who may be following the “Marvelous Abs May” calendar (the pink one), Ali has put together the challenges on an actual May calendar layout. Here it is if you want to use it as well.


I have my first 10K race tomorrow morning. I’ll be getting up long before the butt crack of dawn to make the 1.5 hour trek to the race. My poor husband & kids get to suffer along with me. I predict we will be a bunch of crankies come tomorrow afternoon. :/ This week has been a fail for my running. Our schedule & the weather did not cooperate and I’ve only managed to get a measly 2 miles in. I’m hoping the lack of running means my legs will be fresh and ready to tackle 6.2 miles with ease (and speed!). Of course, the May challenges have left my legs a tad on the sore side this week, so we’ll see. 😉 Be on the lookout for the race report.